Starting Out : Money and Marriage

Before you walk down the aisle, make sure you talk about money. Nearly-weds should check out helpful tips in this short video from Yahoo! Finance.

Getting the state out of marriage

Came across this article from Naomi Woolfe in the Sunday Times.

Let’s also get the state out of the marriage union. In spite of the dress and the flowers, marriage is a business contract. Women, generally, don’t understand this, until it hits them over the head upon divorce. Let’s take a lead from our gay and lesbian friends, who, without state marriage, often create domestic partnerships with financial autonomy and unity spelt out. A heterosexual parallel: celebrate marriage with a religious or emotional ceremony — leave the state out of it — and create a business- or domestic-partner contract aligning the couple legally.

Couples married to happiness

Want a happier spouse? Start by boosting your own happiness. So reports Miranda Hitti on WebMD Health News. The old saying about marriage that "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" is getting some scientific support. Cultivating your own happiness could make your spouse happier, too.

"A married man is significantly more satisfied with his life when his wife becomes more satisfied with hers, and vice versa," says British researcher Nick Powdthavee of the economics department at Britain's University of Warwick. In fact, the positive impact of having a happy spouse can offset major problems such as unemployment or hospitalization.

A married man is significantly more satisfied with his life when his wife becomes more satisfied with hers, and vice versa. Unmarried couples living together don't show the same pattern.

Powdthavee took information from the 1996-2000 British Household Panel Survey that included 9,700 married people and a further 3,300 unmarried people living with their partner. All were 16-65 years old. The survey's topics included life satisfaction, education, income, and health. Based on those answers, Powdthavee used a complicated mathematical formula and principles from psychology to parse the nitty-gritty details of happiness.

He found that in married couples, happiness can overflow from one spouse to their partner. When a husband or wife notches up their own happiness level, the positive impact on their spouse is big, says Powdthavee. How big? Here's how Powdthavee puts it:

"It is significantly greater than the effect of owning a house outright; it can completely offset the non-[financial] cost of unemployment; it is equal to not having to spend around two months in the hospital last year.

In other words, happiness can be contagious -- in a good way -- in marriage, even for a partner facing burdens. Of course, some people, by nature, are happier than others, and Powdthavee's research take that into account. Powdthavee concludes:

This paper has shown that married people have become more satisfied with their life over the years merely because their spouses have become happier with theirs.

However, there's a twist. The happiness data hinges on marriage. The same results weren't seen among unmarried couples who lived together, says Powdthavee.
The reasons for that aren't clear. Perhaps unmarried couples are less committed or tend to focus more on themselves, instead of on their partner's well-being over time, says Powdthavee. He says this is consistent with studies showing a higher break-up rate and eventual marriage failure by those cohabiting with a partner compared with a spouse. The findings were presented in Nottingham, UK, at the Royal Economic Society's annual conference.

Happy marriages = lower blood pressure

People who are happily married have lower blood pressure than those who are single or in an unhappy marriage, according to a study conducted by researchers from Brigham Young University.

Read more here.

Oprah features PREPARE/ENRICH

The Couple Checkup, a best-selling book by the creators of the PREPARE/ENRICH marital readiness inventory, is featured on Oprah's TV show.

From AOL Video

The short segment includes an interview with a sample couple and a contribution from PREPARE/ENRICH founder, Dr David Olsen.

Based on an unprecedented national survey of 50,000 marriages, The Couple Checkup presents the principles for creating a successful couple relationship. The free online profile includes fifteen to twenty categories that are customized based on the relationship stage-whether dating, engaged, or married-the age, and whether or not children are involved. The book also includes the SCOPE Personality Profile and the Couple and Family Map of the relationship.

The Couple Checkup is designed to help you and your partner build a more satisfying and intimate relationship. Just answering the questions will stimulate thoughts and attitudes about your relationship. It is designed to activate dialogue, discovery, and increase the overall quality of your relationship.

The Couple Checkup will help you discover your strengths as a couple. Strengths are what enable you to enjoy, and to continue developing a healthy relationship. It will also help you identify issues that are threatening the vitality of your relationship and may need to be addressed.

Whether you are dating, engaged or married, the Couple Checkup is valuable and relevant. After indicating the stage of your relationship, the Couple Checkup will automatically select applicable questions for you and your partner. It is designed for any couple desiring to enrich their relationship.

Single, childless and poor

Single Irish people without children are over three times more likely than the rest of the population to experience persistent poverty, according to new research reported by Mary Minihan in The Irish Times.

Households headed by a single adult, with or without children, are more exposed to poverty risks than people living in couples, but the probability of persistent poverty for singles without children is even higher, according to the report, Growing Unequal? Income Distribution and Poverty in OECD Countries.

According to the report:

Across all OECD countries, single-adult households with and without children were more exposed to poverty risks than people living in couples, especially when considering the risk of having long periods with low income. On average, single adults with children faced a risk of persistent poverty that was twice as high as for the whole population.

You can read the article in full here.

Jennifer and Fi: 160 questions

"A gathering of ideas, rants, reflections leading up to the big day" is how Jennifer describes her She Weds blog. In a recent Pre Marriage Counseling post Jennifer writes about how she and her Fi (fiance) took the PREPARE/ENRICH readiness inventory.

"160 questions about finances, sexual issues, spirituality, family planning, our families, feelings, how we fight, how we make up...".

Jennifer, who is based in Arizona, USA, writes:

One thing I observed while taking the test is that how far Fi and I have come. There were a few 'division of labor' questions regarding household chores and future parenting. Fi and I have been together for over 5 years and have lived together for 4. So we have already divided our labor.

Fi does the kitchen, I clean the bathroom and vacuum and together we keep clutter down and do laundry. We split cooking evenly throughout the week. I coach on Tuesdays and have track on Wednesdays- he makes dinner. When Fi is in school, I pull a heavier load because his educational pursuits are important to me.

You can read Jennifer's thoughts on taking the PREPARE/ENRICH inventory in full here.

Prepare for a wedding - and a marriage

Who could disagree with Lindsay Plumer, licensed family therapist, certified PREPARE/ENRICH counsellor and Live, Laugh and Love blogger, when she writes?

Many couples spend more time planning the wedding or commitment ceremony itself than they do preparing for their future as a married couple.

Continues Lindsay, who is based in Folsom, California: "Marriage is hard work ... it takes a lot of effort and skills that just aren’t typically taught in a classroom. I encourage all couples that are considering making a lifetime commitment to consider a program of preparation such as PREPARE/ENRICH in order to maximize the potential of their relationship."